专栏名称:芍园 Peony Club
作者: 芍园
简介: 芍园是有态度的群,芍园是有理念的群,芍园是有趣有活力有社区意识的群。芍园致力于开创探索建立我们在海外的平和生活,共同面对在海外面临的新问题,一起共建美好未来,为我们的孩子们准备好更高的起点,与和谐美好的海外良人一起。

家长与学校沟通管道 - 先听听老师如何说

发布时间:2019-01-07 08:28:07
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前不久,芍园群8点档几位群里嘉宾(Ariel, Margaret, Emily, Lily)聊了学校BOT校董事会,PTA学生家长与老师联谊会PTA(或家长联谊会)的各自职能,以及家长如何参与其中,如何参与学校的运作等等。而这些问题的探讨,最终的目的是帮助我们家长能够融入孩子学校的生活,能够在了解学校各方机构如何运作的基础上,参与到学校的各项义工活动中去,并在孩子有困难的时候,知道如何与学校有效沟通,以建立良好透明的三方沟通渠道,帮助孩子尽快找到解决问题的办法。

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今天,适逢在The Parent Place (https://www.theparentingplace.com/)看到有关从学校老师的角度,阐述家长如何与学校沟通的方法,感觉值得倾听与借鉴。尤其我们华裔家长,应该学习如何在英语世界里与人打交道与沟通的方式。有些常用模式,是值得我们关注和学习的,比如遇有问题,通过书面形式 (一般是电邮或信件;通常是电邮形式更快捷方便),简明扼要,直书主题,不绕弯抹角,明确表达自己对问题的观点,也希望听到对方(老师,或任何有关方面人士)的观点与看法,留有几方对话与探讨解决方案的空间与余地。不要一开始就固执己见,因为在听到各方意见之前,打开沟通渠道是第一位的。

从有关摘录的各个阶段学校老师的谏言来看,关键是明白学生-家长-老师多方的关系应该是个公开,透明,协作统一的关系,最终的目标都是学生(孩子)的福祉 wellbeing 得到最好的照顾,学生通过在学校的学习,得到最好的成长!这就要求我们家长,作为学生的代言人,要主动与学校打交道,主动去学校了解孩子学习生活的情况,这包括通过与老师的沟通,直接了解自己孩子的情况;也包括主动参与孩子学校的活动,通过与其他家长的合作与交流,知道学校或孩子年龄段普遍面临的问题或解决办法。同时,保持家庭各项关系建立的协调一致性,使孩子在家庭和学校之间接受统一的行为处事规范和标准,价值观标准。

以下是摘自 The Parent Place 关于几位老师对家长如何与学校沟通提出的一些谏言和观点。英文是原版,中文系本人翻译,加入了本人的一些理解。供大家借鉴和参考。

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What teachers wish parents knew

老师们希望家长们了解些什么?

When it comes to helping children thrive at school, a great partnership betweenparents and teachers is vital. We asked a few teachers to write in and let usknow what they think are the most important things for parents to know. Theremay be things that you wish teachers knew too! We hope these thoughts inspire youto book a time with one of your child’s teachers, and get chatting. You mayjust find that the partnership comes easier than you think.

当我们谈到如何帮助孩子在学校里成长的话题时,父母和老师之间建立起一个很好的伙伴关系是至关重要的。我们(The Parenting Place)要求一些老师就“什么是父母最应该知道的最重要的事情”写信给我们。同时,作为家长的,你也许有些事情是想让老师第一时间知道的。我们希望这些想法能激励你和孩子的老师预定一个时间进行交流和对话。这样,你可能会发现,与老师建立起一种合作关系比你想象的要容易得多。

Primary 一位小学二年级老师的话语
Year 2 teacher

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Teachers have so muchlove in their hearts for each and every single one of their students. Buttreating students fairly does not mean treating them the same. We want allof our students to succeed – even the student perceived as the troublemaker.Rather than requesting your child to be separated from the ‘troublemaker’,trust that we are working with them, and quite often their parents, toencourage that child to make wiser choices and treat others respectfully.

老师对他们的每一个学生都怀有很强烈的爱心。但公平对待学生并不意味着对待他们是一样的。我们希望所有的学生都能成功 - 即使是被认为是“麻烦制造者”的学生。不要让你的孩子和“麻烦制造者”分开,请相信,我们正在和这些“麻烦制造者”以及他们的父母一起,鼓励他们做出更明智的选择,并且尊重他人。

 

But we need you andyour child to work with us to give them a second, third, fourth and maybe 20thchance to better themselves and develop more positive friendships.   Remember your child is also learning life skills such as resilience,tolerance and self-control by learning how to respond appropriately toinappropriate behaviour.

但是我们需要你和你的孩子和我们一起努力,给”麻烦制造者”第二,第三,第四,甚至第二十个机会,让他们成为更好的自己,发展更多的积极友谊。还请记住你的孩子也是在学习生活技能,包括学习如何适应不适当的行为的应对能力,如坚韧性,宽容和自我控制等。

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After having spent six hours at school, children do not need togo home and spend a further six hours on homework. Definitely spend time listeningto them read and practise their weekly spelling words, but ensure they alsohave time every day to just be kids. Bake with them, go on a bike ride, build ahut, play a board game – you’d be surprised just how many life skills they aredeveloping through simple activities such as these. Perhaps this is somethingto consider before asking the teacher for extra reading, spelling or mathshomework for your child. 

在学校生活了六个小时之后,孩子们不必回家,再花六个小时的时间做功课。 当然,绝对需要花时间听他们阅读和练习他们每周的拼写单词,但要确保让孩子们有时间只是孩子。和他们一起烘烤,骑自行车,建一个小屋,玩一个棋盘游戏 - 你会惊讶于他们通过简单的活动发展了多少生活技能。也许在请老师为你的孩子额外阅读,拼写或数学作业之前,这是需要考虑的事情。

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Intermediate 初中

P.E. teacher 一位体育老师的谏言

Intermediate is a goodtime to encourage your child’s independence before they reach high school, andto establish home as a place of support. Realistically, high school teacherssee 150 different kids a day. So your child needs support from home too.

初中阶段是孩子进入高中前的一个重要时段,是培养孩子培独立性的好时机,也是将家庭建成支持孩子港湾的关键时刻。要知道,高中教师每天要面对150个不同的孩子,其能给予你孩子的关注度是有限的。所以你的孩子也需要得到家庭的全力支持。

 

We need to have aconsistent voice when it comes to kids having good boundaries and instillinggood values.

在对孩子进行有良好行为规范和灌输好价值理念方面,我们需要家庭与学校,家长与老师保持一致的声音。

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School bullying usedto happen between the hours of 8.30am and 3pm. Now it can now happen 24 hours aday because of social media. As teachers and parents, we need to have aconsistent voice when it comes to kids having good boundaries around the use oftechnology, as well as instilling good values in them like kindness andrespect.

学校的欺凌行为过去通常发生在上午8点30分到下午3点之间。但现在由于社交媒体的出现,孩子们有可能24小时都被欺凌。作为老师和家长,我们需要在如何利用好现代技术方面有一致的的规范要求,就像需要保持一致地给孩子们灌输善意和尊重等价值观一样。

 

Humanities teacher人文科学老师的谏言

I know many parents fear being that parent, but you do know your child best and we really are opento feedback. We can fix most problems if we know about them early enough. Yourchild’s education is the most precious gift you can give them, so they need youto be there to advocate for them. Please also know that we are not judging youor your family based on the one silly thing that your child may have done –they are human and will make mistakes. It’s all just a part of the journey.

我知道很多家长都担心自己是那个(制造麻烦的孩子的)家长,但是你知道你是最了解自己孩子的,我们真的很乐意得到你的有关反馈。如果我们早日知道这些问题,我们就可以解决大部分问题。你孩子的教育是你能给他们的最宝贵的礼物,所以他们需要你在那里为他们发声。另外,也请您知道,我们不会因为你孩子作出的一两件愚蠢的事情来判断你或你的家庭 - 他们都是人,都会犯错。这些都只是人生旅程的一部分。

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In many cases, theteacher has over 20 (sometimes over 30) minds to stimulate and they need yourhelp. So please, read to them every night, help them complete the spellinghomework, discuss current affairs and help them to make sense of the worldaround them through questioning and exploration.

在许多情况下,老师有超过20(有时超过30)的头脑去启发,他们也需要家长的帮助。所以,请每天晚上请给他们阅读,帮助他们完成拼写功课,讨论时事,通过质疑和探索,帮助他们理解周围的世界。

 

Try not to compareyour child’s academic journey to that of another student. Each child will moveat their own pace – they’ll take steps forward and a few backwards too. As ahome and school partnership, we need to build students’ learning self-esteem.With a healthy mindset, children are willing to try, and appreciate that ifthey don’t understand something it is just a ‘not yet’ moment, and are curiousand confident enough to try again.

尽量不要把孩子的学术旅程和另一个学生的学习旅程相比较。每个孩子都会按照自己的步调前进 - 他们也会前进和后退几步,这些是常态。作为家校合作,我们需要培养学生的学习自尊。有了健康的心态,孩子们愿意尝试,并且明白,如果他们不了解某些东西,那只是一个“尚未知晓”的时刻,他们有足够的好奇心和信心去驱动他们去尝试和寻找答案。

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High school高中阶段

Science and biology teacher科学与生物老师的谏言

In high school, onestudent will have many teachers across their subjects, limiting the amount oftime teachers can spend with them one-on-one. If you’re concerned about howyour child is progressing with a particular subject, I would encourage you toget in touch with the teacher in the first instance. Simply expressing aconcern, relaying what your child’s view is, asking for more information andthe teacher’s point of view, opens up a meaningful dialogue. This ensures thatthe area of concern is addressed, and as a result, the teacher-parent-studentrelationship is less likely to be harmed.

在高中阶段,一个学生的多科目学习,将同时会面对许多不同的教师参与。老师与学生间的一对一的关系会非常有限。如果你担心你的孩子在某个特定科目上的进展情况,我鼓励你首先与老师联系。扼要地表达一下你的关注和疑虑,传达你孩子对相关事件的观点,并要求老师给予更多的信息和老师对此的观点,这样,就开启了一个有意义的对话模式,也确保了问题可以得到有效的解决。而这种良好的沟通模式,也保护了学生-家长-老师三方面的良好关系。

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This is not to saythat your child is not to be believed if they express a concern! It might bethat he/she is comfortable telling you that they’re having difficulty withsomething, but aren’t comfortable telling the teacher. By opening the lines ofcommunication, we are in a better position to help. Most teachers will beincredibly receptive to a parent who gets in touch, expressing concern and anactive interest in being a part of their child’s education.

这并不是说如果你的孩子对你表达某种担心,你不要相信他/她!有时候,当孩子们需要表达他们内心对某些事情的困难情绪时,会感觉对父母表达会舒服一些,而对老师表达则不舒服。这种时候,开放的沟通渠道,会对我们几方都有利,并对孩子起到帮助的效果。  大多数教师会非常乐于接触一位愿意主动接触老师,表达关切,并积极关注自己孩子教育的家长。

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Soft materials technology teacher 软材料技术教师的谏言

Don’t be afraid ifyour child doesn’t have a natural love for English, science or maths. Somechildren have amazing talents in design and problem-solving, and these skillsare incredibly valuable in today’s marketplace. Woodwork, sewing and cookingdon’t exist as subjects anymore – the subject is ‘technology’ and it is aboutsolving real-world problems. If your child enjoys this subject – fantastic! Itwill stand them in good stead for any career.

如果你的孩子对英语,科学或数学没有天生的喜爱,不要害怕。 有些孩子在设计和解决问题方面拥有惊人的才能,而这些技能在当今的市场中是非常有价值的。木工,缝纫和烹饪不再作为主题存在- 主题是“技术”,它是关于解决现实世界的问题的学科。 如果你的孩子喜欢这个主题 - 太棒了!他们会在他们所选择的任何行业里取得成功的。

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